7/12/2013
With the game over it was
hotel time. Naturally, I found the cheapest possible option, which I was kind
of worried about in Baltimore. Our hotel was called The Red Carpet Inn, which I
thought sounded classy, but Laura theorized the name came from the bloody
murders that happen there. [Muwha ha ha!]
We survived driving
through some of the choicer real estate to the Red Carpet. Yeah. It looked more like Laura’s theory than
mine. I went to the window where a husband and wife were running check-in. The
wife was very high-strung and kept handing Post-It notes to her husband. He
didn’t seem very interested in them. They were both trying to tell me
something, but their accents were so thick I really couldn’t understand them at
all. The husband handed me one of the mysterious Post-It notes and told me (I
eventually deciphered) to drive behind “the alley” to the EconoLodge behind the
Red Carpet. He then came outside and pointed towards “the alley.”
I got back in the van with
my Post-It note and then relayed the instructions to “go down the alley.” Laura
was happy. Not really. Down the alley there actually was an EconoLodge, and it
surprisingly looked pretty decent. I showed the front desk guy my Post-It note
and he seemed to understand it. “What happened over there?” he asked. “I don’t
know,” I said. He laughed, started talking about the Orioles and how I was
lucky I wasn’t there a night when they lost. Then he gave me a hotel keycard.
Ok.
I went back to the van and
asked Laura to go into the room with the kids. No need for all of us to be
mugged. She insisted on taking the things out of the van that were supposed to
go into the hotel herself though. (Don’t worry. I didn’t leave her out there by
herself.) You have to understand that Laura has developed this very elaborate
supply system for these trips. Everything is very organized and fits into a
specific Tetris-like place in the van. It really works, but I can’t figure it
out at all. Laura will be the first to tell you both of these things.
We made it into the room
without getting murdered. The room itself was a surprise. It was quite nice
really – spacious and impeccably clean.
In fact, it’s probably one of the nicest places we’ve stayed.
We enjoyed a nice dinner
from our cooler. Laura has become the master of packing food for these trips. The
effort she puts in is just amazing. I just make sure we get hotel rooms with
fridges to keep everything fresh, and then we can save our food money for a
couple of special meals and more fun activities. After dinner, the kids all
hunkered down on their fold-up cots – another Laura idea. These turned out to
be great investments since we are not Waltony enough to cram 6 people into 1
bed. [When are you going to realize that all my ideas
are brilliant ideas??? The cots are amazing though. They fold up into a very compact size for a
small vehicle, and are ideal for children.
I highly recommend these for traveling. You can get them at Walmart or
on Amazon for $25. Well worth the price. I just brought their sleeping bags and threw
them onto the beds. They are low enough to the ground that you don’t have to
worry about a toddler rolling out and getting hurt. Two of my children are movers, and they never
fell out.]
Next morning we were
greeted by a steady drizzle of rain out the window. We ate our complimentary
breakfast in the lobby (They had a waffle maker! Class!) while the closing
arguments of the Trayvon Martin case was playing on TV.
After breakfast we drove
downtown to Baltimore’s Inner Harbor, which is exactly what it sounds like. Not
far in the distance was Fort McHenry where rockets once redly glared. On the
way, the kids noticed all the Orioles pennants and started yelling, “Baseball!
Baseball!”
We reached the harbor as
the rain was starting to pick up. I was looking for the Maritime Museum, but I
was a little confused since it isn’t a museum in the traditional sense. It’s
actually 3 ships representing different eras in US maritime history docked at
different places along the harbor, so I sort of miscalculated where to park.
Turns out we weren’t too far off course, and we were redirected by a nice man
who worked at a ticket stand for some concert hall. We had to walk a little bit
to get to the ships (I wasn’t going to repark for $7 an hour!), but it was a
pleasant enough walk, and the rain felt kind of nice at this point. [Um….you say pleasant, I say another word. I usually like
the rain, but this was rain, cold and wind.
I hadn’t brought an umbrella or coat for myself. It was very miserable.]
We soon reached the USS Taney, the last survivor of Pearl
Harbor. What it’s doing in Baltimore, I’m not sure. (You need a ticket to go
onboard each of the ships in the harbor. With AAA you can buy a ticket for all
3 ships for the price of 1. This is not advertised, but it’s a great deal.)
I enjoyed looking at the Taney and the nearby submarine Torsk, but we were still quite a
distance from the boat I was the most interested in seeing – the USS Constellation, the last Civil
War-era ship still afloat. Unfortunately, as we walked on the rain was really
starting to come down. I tried to push everyone on, but Laura escaped from my
clutches into a store with everyone but Kathleen. Kathleen and I marched on to
the Constellation. Laura and the
other traitors eventually reappeared with a handy little Baltimore souvenir –
an umbrella. [I went into the nearest touristy shop
to buy an umbrella. It was raining so much, that Veronica was getting cold and
wet. We couldn’t let that happen!!! I asked the store clerk where his largest
umbrellas were located. He gave me a
strange look and said: “We only carry small ones.” I glared back with a “Why the heck would you
make a small umbrella?” but I bought it anyway.
One cannot quibble about such things. Oliver was mad that I bought one,
though. It’s for the baby!!!!] I
guess that was smart. Kathleen and I had fun being tough though.
To get into the Constellation you have to pass through a
small museum where the original steering wheel is on display. It has the
world’s largest “Do Not Touch” sign hanging on it. Philip can’t read yet. He
decided to give it a spin. Laura grabbed him just as the wood started to creak.
[He pulled it so hard, half of it separated from
the base. I thought that it was over for us, and we would be bringing a very
large and very expensive steering wheel home with us.]
We went onboard where
everyone got to have fun playing sailor. The kids were afraid of the costumed
19th-century Navy guy on board. They thought he was a pirate. How do
they know what a pirate is? “They say ‘Arrrr!’ and steal toys,” Daniel told me.
Fair enough.
It was now time to walk
back to the car, but by now the storm was in full Apocalypse mode. It was a
long walk. We got to the car, but we were completely drenched from head to toe.
The kids thought it was great fun. Mommy and Daddy, not so much. Especially Mommy.
We changed the kids into dry clothes in the parking deck. A car drove by filled
with staring people while Philip was changing his underpants. I figure that
counts as his first mooning. What a special moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment