33. FRANKLIN COURT & THE BETSY ROSS HOUSE

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

12/31/2009

After our cholesterol injections, we walked over to Franklin Court, the former residence of Ben Franklin. His original home and print shop are long gone, but they are represented by a life-sized steel outline. There are also concrete circles on the ground with inscriptions like “Location of Ben Franklin’s privy.” Great. I needed to know that.

A door in one of the buildings leads to a winding ramp that goes several yards underground to the appropriately-named “Benjamin Franklin Underground Museum.” The National Park Service guy on duty was pretty funny. He apologized for how terrible the exhibits were that we were about to see. “They are literally falling apart,” he confessed, with a sigh. He told us that they will be shutting down imminently and moved to another location. So another historic landmark bites the dust.

When we reemerged from the Underground Museum we entered a recreation of Franklin’s print shop. Another National Park Service guy was there who gave us a demonstration on how the old printing presses worked. He even used a form of linen paper – similar to the paper used in Franklin’s lifetime. For $1 you can buy samples from the press. I bought a copy of the Declaration of Independence, which I plan to hang in my classroom. I will brag to my students about how it was printed on an 18th-century printing press on 18th-century paper. They won’t care, but I will.

After Franklin Court we paid our $15 parking fee and tried to head over to Macy’s department store. Why, you may ask? Every once in awhile, at the end of one of her entries Patricia Schultz will put an extra paragraph mentioning something unrelated to the main entry, but worth checking out all the same. In this case, she mentions a holiday display in Macy’s under the Mummers Parade entry, so we decided to check it out. We made it to Macy’s, assuming the store would have its own parking. No such luck. The parking lots around it were demanding as high as $27 for the privilege. No thanks! The trip out to Macy’s wasn’t a total loss, however. On the way we passed by the Pennsylvania Convention Center and saw a parking deck close by that only charges $7 all day if you arrive before 10 o’clock. We made a note of it in the GPS for the next day.

With nothing else to do in Philadelphia (not without paying another outrageous parking fee) we headed to the hotel and finally checked in. We were very pleased. The room was nice, the bed was comfortable. Everything was great. We turned on the television. A “Cops” marathon was on. Don’t ask me how, but four hours later we were still watching it. Yes. “Cops.” The signing of the Declaration of Independence in the morning. Watching “Cops” all night. Isn’t that the American dream?

I won’t even mention the Three Stooges marathon that was on afterwards.

32. PHILLY FOOD

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

12/31/2009

With the weather getting colder and our stomach’s getting louder we stepped inside a little restaurant called Panini’s, just outside Franklin Court.

Laura got her hoagie.

I got my Philly steak.

Everyone was happy.

31. INDEPENDENCE NATIONAL HISTORICAL PARK

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

12/31/2009

Abandoning our lunch plans we headed instead to the Independence National Historical Park, which is really a catch-all for the old section of Philadelphia where Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and the rest did their stuff before, during and after the American Revolution. The history teacher in me had fun wandering the streets. Probably the most famous landmark is the Liberty Bell, where another tourist kindly offered to take our picture – making it the only photo we have of our trips with all three of us together.

Everything in the historic district is free (if you don’t count the $15 parking) and basically grouped together so it’s easy to walk from place to place. So much that’s critical to the formation of the United States happened in these few buildings, so anyone even vaguely interested in American history shouldn’t need any excuse to go here.

FAILED ATTEMPT – PHILLY FOOD

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

12/31/2009

We finally left Allentown around 11 (since that was our check-out time) and headed towards Philadelphia. Despite all the panic on the television we didn’t hit any snow at all. We stopped by our hotel (a Days Inn in Brooklawn, New Jersey) but they weren’t ready for us yet. Undaunted, we decided to drive back to Philadelphia and see our sights. It was then that we discovered that to head into Philadelphia from across the river you have to pay a $4 toll. What kind of a city is this? Philadelphia, we hadn’t even gotten to you yet, but we already hated you.

Since it was around noon at this point, it seemed appropriate to sample Philly food – which Patricia defines as hoagies and steak sandwiches. (I wanted Philly steak, Laura wanted hoagies. So we compromised – hoagies.) The book mentions the Italian Market, supposedly the country’s largest open-air market, so that’s where we went – specifically in search of Sarcone’s Deli, and its Schultz-approved hoagies.

Unfortunately, what we encountered were the scariest streets in America: angry drivers trying to illegally pass each other on one-way streets with equally-illegally parked cars on either side. You’d have to really know where you were going and what you were doing to park here. We passed by the deli, but we didn’t know how or where to stop. As frustrating as all this was, something bizarre happened that was funny to us later. While trying to navigate this maze, a car two cars ahead burst into flames. (We felt bad for that guy. That wasn’t the funny part.) In the traffic mayhem that ensued, the car in front of us put on his hazards and stopped. The driver got out – we at first assumed to help the burning car guy. Actually, he just wanted to run into a store and do a little shopping. By the time we had finally gotten ourselves around that car the driver was still inside the store, nowhere to be found. He had literally just left his car in the middle of a busy street, behind a car that might explode. Pretty cool dude.

So, while drivers were honking their horns, cars were literally exploding around us, and people were just stopping their cars in the middle of the street because they felt like it, Daniel proceeded to throw a major screaming fit in the backseat. If they made a movie about an urban nightmare, this would be it. Both Laura and I had to throw our hands in the air and abandon Sarcone’s – now our only goal was escape!

FAILED ATTEMPT – NEW HOPE & BUCKS COUNTY

New Hope & Bucks County, Pennsylvania

12/31/2009

When we woke up in the morning we were greeted by several inches of snow. Checking the Weather Channel we discovered that our area down through Philadelphia was under severe weather conditions until 4 pm. According to the television the storm was moving right along our driving route. It occurred to me that if the Mummers Parade was cancelled, there would be no way for us to know until we had already braved the elements to get to Philadelphia. I had already bought tickets for the Mummers Fancy Brigade Finale (which is held inside at the Pennsylvania Convention Center) so I called the Center to get information about cancellations. The guy on the phone said, “It won’t be cancelled. No way. It won’t be cancelled. Cancelled? No way. It won’t be cancelled. It’s going to happen. The weather’s not that bad. Look. It won’t be cancelled. It won’t be cancelled. You can call again tomorrow morning, but man, it won’t be cancelled. No way.” After a few moments of thought I concluded that the man on the phone believed that the parade was not going to be cancelled.

We had planned to leave early in the morning to reach the town of New Hope before heading to Philadelphia, but we decided to wait until the roads had been cleared for safety’s sake. Besides, I got the impression that New Hope is virtually in Amish country, so trying to reach it and actually enjoying our time there in the middle of a blizzard probably wasn’t very realistic. So, scratch New Hope this trip.

30. BETHLEHEM

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

12/30/2009

A friend of mine from high school was originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania – that’s all I knew about it before our visit. The self-proclaimed “Christmas City, USA” was founded by a group of Moravians in the early 19th-century, and is part of the “folksy towns” category that Schultz is good at picking out.

Our first stop was the Moravian Book Shop, which Patricia Schultz told us is the oldest bookstore in North America. How could we resist that? Have I mentioned that I have catalogued our books in a database and assigned them all Library of Congress call numbers? Yeah. I like books. Anyway, the outside has that old town look, but the inside is very modern. Not that that’s a bad thing in and of itself, but I guess I had hoped there would be something distinctive about the store. However, it was like every modern bookstore I’ve ever been to. I’m sure that’s how it’s stayed in business so long, I guess. Got to keep up with the times.

After the bookstore, we strolled up and down the streets a little bit, peeking in store windows. We did stop by the visitor’s center which had a little museum attached to it, celebrating the history of the town and its beer-brewing history. Wow. Apparently, Pennsylvania loves its beer.

For dinner we decided to go to a locally-owned restaurant. Usually, the book suggests a place to eat, but there isn’t a suggestion for Bethlehem, so it was up to us. At this point, I should provide some free advertising for a website Laura and I love called restaurant.com. Just type in your zip code and you will be provided with various local restaurants and options to buy gift certificates at significant discounts. Before we went on our trip I used the site to buy a $25 gift certificate for only $2 for a place called the Belmont Inne. It was a really nice meal in a converted 19th-century hotel, and thanks to using the certificate from restaurant.com, not very expensive at all. It’s always fun eating in a place with some history. Laura says it reminded her of the Story Inn, except the food was good!

We didn’t spend the night in Bethlehem, but in a Super 8 in nearby Allentown. This Super 8 was miles above the one in Etters. The man at reception was very nice and seemed quite proud of his establishment, informing us he had booked us his best room. It wasn’t the Hilton, of course, but the pride the proprietors took in running this place was apparent.

29. D.G. YUENGLING & SONS

Pottsville, Pennsylvania

12/30/2009

I proceeded to sing the Hershey’s Chocolate World song all the way to Pottsville – home of D.G. Yuengling & Sons, America’s oldest brewery. Neither Laura nor I drink at all, so this place wasn’t high on our personal lists, but where Patricia Schultz commands, we go.

The brewery conducts a free tour every day at 10:00 and 1:30. A huge group had arrived just as we did, so the guides were a little overwhelmed. The tour brought us down into the beer cave, where Daniel proceeded to throw up. Apparently, he doesn’t like beer either. Laura left the tour and cleaned him up, while I continued on with the tour – which was probably for the best. The tour brings you up and down steps and even out into the street up a steep incline. Not exactly pregnant lady approved. I personally didn’t mind – after all, the facility is 180 years old. The highlight of the tour is watching the bottles stream along conveyor belts, fill up with beer and then drop into boxes for shipping. The tour guide made the obligatory “Laverne and Shirley” reference, but it really did look like that.

The end of the tour leads into a bar – at which point Laura had rejoined us – and everyone was given a free sample. We asked for ginger beer. The lady laughed. Yeah… Who would go to a brewery if they didn’t drink alcohol? Us, I guess.

This place held little interest for us, but that’s a personal taste issue. Most of the people there (primarily manly men) were salivating at the very prospect of being there. (One guy saw Daniel and said, “Wow! What a lucky kid. His first brewery tour!”) Nevertheless, like football, “crackin’ open a brewskie” is an undeniable side of American culture. And there’s something to be said for the Yuengling family for not selling out to the big national chains, despite decades of tempting offers.

28. HERSHEY

Hershey, Pennsylvania

12/30/2009

After we had seen the lights, we drove a weary four hours to the town of Etters, Pennsylvania, so we could start early and already be where we needed to be. We stayed at a Super 8. As you know, we try to really save on sleep accommodations, but this one was pretty bad. The bed was very uncomfortable and the heat didn’t really work. The room was so drafty I felt like I had been camping, rather than staying in a motel. At the “continental breakfast” I encountered the first cup of coffee I couldn’t stomach – and I’ll drink anything! Also, I was aware that Super 8 and a bunch of other low-cost hotels and motels (or “the cheap ones” as my wife calls them) are part of one of those free reward programs. You know the kind, for every dollar you spend you get such-and-such points for a free night’s stay. You’re supposed to be able to enroll at the motel itself, but when I inquired the receptionist at the front desk handed me a pamphlet and said I should probably call some 1-800 number. Thanks for the help, lady.

Never mind that. We didn’t come all this way to stay in a cheap motel – we came for the chocolate! About a half hour from the illustrious Super 8 is Hershey, Pennsylvania, birthplace of the Hershey chocolate bar. We couldn’t help but smile at the streetlamps all shaped like Hershey’s kisses as we drove through the town on our way to Hershey’s Chocolate World.

Hershey’s Chocolate World is basically a giant store, frankly. But for some reason, there is something just really hypnotic about what seems like acres and acres of chocolate bars for as far as the eye can see. It’s free to enter, as is a trip on the “Hershey’s Chocolate Tour” – a really hyper ride where you sit in a little bumper car that moves you through a simulation of the chocolate making process. All the while giant cow puppets are singing “HERSHEY’S CHOCOLATE!!! HERSHEY’S CHOCOLATE!!! HERSHEY’S CHOCOLATE WORLD!!!” over and over again until the song is forever burned in your unconscious. What kind of drugs did they put in those Reese’s peanut butter cups when they built this thing? At first, Daniel didn’t know what to make of it (nor does the rest of mankind), but when he saw his mommy and I were smiling, he clearly perked up. It was the first time he had really smiled a good smile in a couple of days, so we were glad he was enjoying himself.

Just one more minor oddity about the “Chocolate Tour”: You can’t take strollers on the ride, which is fine and perfectly understandable. However, at the entrance they had a woman standing there who seemed utterly exasperated every time a stroller approached her. Since the ride is free, no tickets are required, and anyone can freely walk up the ramp where other employees help people into the cars, it was obvious this woman’s job was, in fact, to tell people about the stroller policy. That was why they had put her where she was in the first place. Now, I understand that after ten years of telling hundreds of people a day “No strollers” might make anyone a little bonkers, it was slightly off-putting.

It might sound like I’m making fun of Hershey’s Chocolate World, but I’m really not. Is it a bizarre place? Yes. But that’s what made it fun. I should mention that within the complex are some other rides and exhibits (like a chocolate tasting demonstration and some sort of 3-D show) but they all cost money, which we decided not to spend.

One last thing: in one corner of the place they have a little assembly line set up where kids can pretend to work in the Hershey factory. They have to move really fast and even clock in and out in a toy punch-clock. Man, this place is weird.

27. OGLEBAY WINTER FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS

Wheeling, West Virginia

12/29/2009

When we started our journey through Patricia Schultz’ book we quickly realized what our biggest challenge would be – about 50 of her places aren’t really places, but events. In other words, we’d have to be in a certain city in a certain month – often times a specific day. With that in mind, we took advantage of my Christmas break to try and hit two of these events. The first was the Oglebay Winter Festival of Lights (which, obviously, only happens in the winter) and the second was Philadelphia’s Mummers Parade, an annual New Year’s Day event.

In order to hit a few other places on our trip we decided to start out three days earlier to make it in time to Philadelphia for the parade. However, we almost canceled the trip at the last minute. Two days after Christmas Laura got very sick and then the day before we were going to leave Daniel did too. By the 29th Laura was feeling better, but we were worried about Daniel, so we took him to the doctor. She gave him a thorough work-down and told us he would be fine and that he probably had the same stomach bug that had attacked his mother. She assured us he would probably be right as rain by tomorrow morning. Laura and I talked seriously about cancelling the trip anyway, but with the doctor’s assurances we started on our journey. Both Laura and I were glad we had taken Daniel to the doctor though, just for our peace of mind. We’d gladly never go on another trip again if it meant keeping him safe.

We timed our trip to Wheeling so we would arrive around 6:00 pm, so it would already be nice and dark for the lights. Basically, the Winter Festival of Lights is a six-mile driving circuit around the Oglebay Resort – which we discovered is actually the largest publically-owned facility of its kind in the nation. (In other words, it’s not a country club. It’s more like a really fancy public park.) The drive-through is free, although they do ask for a donation. Can’t blame them for that. Laura and I enjoyed the many moving displays. We were excited about how Daniel would react, but he seemed nonplussed. He was still a little under the weather, plus, since the whole thing is experienced in a car I don’t think he could really see that well from his car seat.

To be honest, you’ve probably seen better individual displays on people’s houses – we’ve all seen those “Seriously, how high is your electric bill?” monsters. But in terms of scale, this is miles and miles of different displays you’re not going to find anywhere else. We stopped in the visitor’s center and there were a lot of kids of varying ages all talking about how great they thought it was and discussing which display they thought was the best. (My favorite was the dinosaurs and Laura’s was the rocking horse, by the way.) No doubt, this place should hit anyone's “wholesome family fun” buttons.

26. NATIONAL MUSEUM OF THE U.S. AIR FORCE

Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, Ohio

12/23/2009

Taking advantage of my Christmas break, we made a daytrip to the National Museum of the U.S. Air Force, just outside of Dayton – less than an hour and a half from Columbus.

Anyone with any interest in the history of aircraft will be in heaven here. The museum is huge – it would have to be, since it’s crammed with airplanes. The museum is laid out chronologically – from the earliest experiments of the Wright Brothers, to experimental planes of today. Maybe it’s the history teacher in me, but I liked how the museum was laid out. Sometimes these giant museums can be kind of overwhelming (The Henry Ford comes to mind, and the Detroit Institute of the Arts), so the chronological organization gave the whole experience a comfortable flow. It took us about three hours to move through the museum, and we looked at everything. Even Daniel seemed fascinated by the varied colors, shapes and sizes.

For several years I worked at the University of Akron Archival Services working on a special collection dedicated to the B-26 Marauder – which was a World War II-era bomber plane. Wright-Patterson contains one of the handful left in existence, so I made sure I got my picture with her.

When we left the museum we stopped by the Aviation Heritage Center, which has its own sharp little museum dedicated to the Wright Brothers and the poet Paul Dunbar. One of the guides at the Heritage Center took us across the street to one of the Wright Brothers’ bicycle shops (apparently, the only one of five still in existence). Kind of neat to be able to say, “We were at Orville and Wilbur’s place.”

Something I must mention about this trip – everything was absolutely free. Both the Air Force museum and the Aviation Center have free admission everyday. Both of these sites could easily charge up the nose for what they have to offer. I feel that the Air Force museum is one of the best places we’ve visited and it didn’t cost us a penny. What more can I say? Go there!