36. CLEVELAND MUSEUM OF ART & THE BOTANICAL GARDEN

Cleveland, Ohio

4/4/2010

Happy Easter! While visiting my family for the holiday, Laura, Daniel and I shot north of their house to visit the Cleveland Museum of Art and the Cleveland Botanical Gardens – which are two separate facilities, although Schultz groups them together. She does that sometimes, which I kind of find inconsistent. If its 1000 places to see, it should be 1000 places, cheater! It was no bother though, since both institutions are right across the street from each other and they are both worth seeing.

We started with the Cleveland Museum of Art – which a cheapskate like me remembered has free admission. As a former “Greater Cleveland” resident I have been there many times. I’m pretty sure we went there a bunch of times on field trips, plus I’d been there with buddies at least once or twice. Additionally, when I was running my production company we did a project in collaboration with the museum, so I spent a lot of time there then. My memories of the place were confirmed by this visit – it really is an excellent museum. What’s interesting about it is that it’s actually quite small. The museum spins what could be seen as a criticism in a way that I agree with – the limited exhibition space insures that the quality of each piece on display is very high. In other words, you can easily navigate through the museum in an hour or two and be assured that you are seeing the cream of the collection. Laura and I contrasted this museum to the Detroit Art Institute – huge, unwieldy, and ultimately a frustrating search for one or two famous pieces we could never find. We left the Cleveland Museum of Art very satisfied that we had seen it all. However, Laura kept insisting that everything in the museum were forgeries and the only real art in the world is in the Louvre. She hasn’t convinced me yet.

I have to make note that although Laura and I loved the museum, its biggest and newest fan is Daniel. He was absolutely enraptured by many of the paintings and sculptures. There was one piece in particular that he was completely hypnotized by when he first saw it. We passed by it again on our way back to the exit and he remembered it, pointing and babbling excitedly. It is a sculpture (I guess?) called Looking Along Broadway Towards Grace Church by Red Grooms. All you babies out there need to check it out.

Next, we went across the street to the Botanical Gardens. I had never been there before – probably because it costs money. Admission is $7.50, but you get a dollar off each ticket with AAA. They even gave us a dollar off Daniel’s free ticket, which I’ve never had happen before anywhere. In other words, instead of paying $15, we only paid $12. Additionally, if you are going to take advantage of the various museums on University Circle, park in the Botanical Gardens parking lot. If you visit the gardens you can pay a flat $5 parking fee and stay all day, otherwise you’ll be paying by the half-hour. Oh boy. I love being a cheapskate.

Anyway, onto the gardens themselves. The facility is in two parts – a series of glasshouses simulating the environments of Costa Rica and Madagascar (for drastic contrast), and a series of outdoor gardens. We started with the glasshouses. Our enjoyment of the many plants, birds, giant cockroaches (behind glass, thankfully), and exotic butterflies was amplified by Daniel’s utter amazement. We spent a lot of time stalking butterflies and watching them flutter from tree to tree. He was especially fascinated by a pretty powerful waterfall.

After we finished with the glasshouses we went outside to look at the various outdoor gardens which make up the majority of the grounds. Unfortunately, it’s a little too early in the spring for too many of the gardens to be in full bloom, but it was still a nice walk in a really nicely manicured space. One of the highlights of the gardens is the Hershey Children’s Garden – which I think is named in honor of a Cleveland family and is no relation to the chocolate people, as far as I could make out. Even though we had dressed Daniel up to look nice for Easter dinner, we couldn’t deny him the chance to crawl around and explore. It was here that Daniel encountered his first bully. Cue dramatic music.

Let us set the scene. In one corner of the Children’s Garden is a sandbox. A two-year old boy was playing with two dump trucks just off to the side of the sandbox. Daniel was sitting there and I could tell he wanted one of the trucks as he stared longingly at them, but the two-year old was already playing with them. Daniel was a good boy. He just watched as the other boy played. Eventually, the two-year old got bored with the trucks, left them, and went off to play somewhere else. Once the boy was gone, Daniel started to play with one of the trucks. Of course, as soon as the two-year old saw Daniel take one of the trucks he returned and took both of the trucks away from him. Satan’s mother was sitting on a bench watching the proceedings and she decided to help the situation by saying, “Lucifer, don’t make the baby cry.” Damien said nothing, but made an angry face at Daniel and held firmly to the trucks. Daniel had this very confused, “Did I do something wrong?” look on his face. Then Rosemary said to her baby, “Why don’t you find another truck for the baby somewhere else?” Little Beelzebub pulled the trucks further away from Daniel. Daniel continued to stare with this sad, confused look on his face. Laura asked Mommy Dearest, “Do those trucks belong to your son?” “No,” the Queen of the Damned replied. Fed up, I sat down next to the jackal and said quietly, “I’m going to take one of these trucks now. I know you won’t mind. It’s very nice of you to share with me.” The spawn said nothing, but just stared at me with an extremely angry look on his face. Daniel now had a truck and began to play with it. Azrael stormed away from the sandbox, grabbed Daniel’s stroller and suddenly tried to take it! Laura had to hold on to it and slightly struggle with this little devil to stop him from knocking it over. All through this the mom just sits on her bench and says nothing at all. Eventually, mother and son returned to the pit from whence they came to torment someone else. My opinion of parents who let their children run amok while vainly croaking out “Now, be nice” probably requires no additional commentary.

After that little altercation, Daniel had a lot of fun playing in the sand. We were very proud of how he handled himself. Plus, Laura and I were both amazed that he didn’t try to eat any of the sand. Our little boy is growing up.